Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Feeling Sorry for Myself

THis morning started off normally. I kissed the BF goodbye, and talked to him on the phone while he was on the way to work. but when we hung up, I started feeling horrible.

I'm so nervous and anxious. I dont really know what to do with myself now.

The last week or so has been horrible. Im either extremely anxious and nervous or totally wiped out and exhausted. I dont think any of it has anything to do with being "sick". I think its just the stress of the whole situation taking its toll on my body.

I dont want to deal with this anymore. It isnt fair. I just want my life to go back to normal.

I dont really know what to do. Im lost, confused, and affraid!!! I feel like i'm just going to wake up and all of this will have just been a horrible nightmare.

I feel so desperately alone in all of this. Im not saying i dont have support and people who love me, because i do. I just feel like they dont have a clue what im going through. Hell I dont even have a clue whats going on. I just feel like this hiv thing has isolated me and put me just out of reachof everyone else. If that makes any sense. I just dont feel like i belong anymore. I dont feel like im a part of anything anymore.

Just feeling lonely,

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